Oh no, I'm an ape!

[SheikhJahbooty]

My 100th post seems to have turned me into a chimpanzee, which is an ape. Apes are horrible filthy vicious monsters. Yes, I know that humans are technically a type of ape.

Monkeys on the other hand are cute and adorable. I once saw this psychological game theory experiment in which researchers demonstrated unfairness to a monkey to see if monkeys understood fair play. The researcher gave the monkey a cracker for doing a trick, and repeated it. Then the researcher gave another monkey a grape for doing exactly the same trick. So the first monkey thought they were out of crackers and had started giving out the good rewards so he came back and was given a cracker for doing the trick. And boy did he get angry, OMG, he was furious. He was like, so there's no reason he gets grapes; you guys are just being dicks! He smashed his cracker on the floor! Monkeys are so adorable that he was still cute. He was, in fact, hilarious.

I wish I were still a monkey, or better yet, a monkey ninja, or even an anarchist monkey ninja.

[misterecho]

I think we need to send you to the "shampoo" test facility.


***********
/begin message
Forum wide announcement:
Disruptive Monkeys and Apes will be sent to the research wing.
/end message

[Rob Lang]

Speaking on behalf of OUR GLORIOUS BENEFACTOR WHO MAKETH ALL MONKEYS AND APES,
Your complaint has been heard at the very highest echelons of 1KM1KT. As MrE (which sounds oddly ominous as if from A Clockwork Orange) points out, rebellious monkeys not at their typewriters will be send to the Cute-ification facility via several frankly horrid other test rooms.

However, Our Glorious Benefactor has permitted me the honour to reclassify those ranks that were not Monkeys but (as you pointed out) apes. The new list is:

Squirrel Monkey
Tamarin
Marmoset
Langur
Mangabey
Macaque
Colobus
Howler
Baboon
Mandrill

Making you a Langur for now at least. May recommend not complaining again or MrE, a fan of 1KM1KT Monkey testing, will be at large.

[Sanglorian]