Our Glorious Dishwasher: A Utensil's Quest
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:32 pmThe Golden Dishwasher is meant to be a hack-and-slash styled tabletop game built in parody of d20 styled games. It totally eschews storytelling and narrative except for that which explains the basic premise (that the players are silverware hunting down Our Glorious Dishwasher).
The game will be played with a pair of 8-sided dice because I'm crazy that way (and something about mathematical balances).
There's going to be a type/class system that determines statistics.
Attributes go as follows-
CUT- Damage output, strength, and the like. CUT overcomes physical obstacles and the like.
HOLD- Defense. This prevents the utensil from taking a "dent" when it gets hit, making it imperative for a defensive silverware piece.
STAB- Glorious Abilities are so powerful they are often described as "piercing through the rules of the universe". STAB measures the ability to activate these abilities successfully.
Players can choose to be a:
Knife- CUT 10, HOLD 12, STAB 4, no Glorious Abilities
Spoon- CUT 8, HOLD 12, STAB 8, 1 Glorious ability
Fork- CUT 4, HOLD 8, STAB 12, 3 Glorious Abilities
Spork- CUT 6, HOLD 10, STAB 10, 2 Glorious Abilities
(type-based Glorious Abilities may be chosen from a list, should the utensil's final attributes be appropriate)
who is a:
Murderator- CUT+3, gains Glorious Ability Eviscerate
Piercer- STAB+1, gains Glorious Ability Memorize
Carrier- HOLD+2, gains Glorious Ability Lift
Benefactor- -2 to all attributes but STAB, +2 to STAB, gains Glorious Ability Benefactor (exclusive to class).
Cleaver (Knife Only)- -4 to HOLD, but gain +2 to CUT. May use Glorious Abilities with HOLD.
Ladle (Spoon Only)- +3 to HOLD, no Glorious Abilities at start.
Pitchfork (Fork Only)- CUT+8, loses 1 Glorious Ability and 2 STAB
and fight through various things. It's a fairly simple system, with the needed number being within 2 points of the value at all times. It's pretty simple because it's an intentional parody of d20, which I kinda hate and want to make fun of.
The game will be played with a pair of 8-sided dice because I'm crazy that way (and something about mathematical balances).
There's going to be a type/class system that determines statistics.
Attributes go as follows-
CUT- Damage output, strength, and the like. CUT overcomes physical obstacles and the like.
HOLD- Defense. This prevents the utensil from taking a "dent" when it gets hit, making it imperative for a defensive silverware piece.
STAB- Glorious Abilities are so powerful they are often described as "piercing through the rules of the universe". STAB measures the ability to activate these abilities successfully.
Players can choose to be a:
Knife- CUT 10, HOLD 12, STAB 4, no Glorious Abilities
Spoon- CUT 8, HOLD 12, STAB 8, 1 Glorious ability
Fork- CUT 4, HOLD 8, STAB 12, 3 Glorious Abilities
Spork- CUT 6, HOLD 10, STAB 10, 2 Glorious Abilities
(type-based Glorious Abilities may be chosen from a list, should the utensil's final attributes be appropriate)
who is a:
Murderator- CUT+3, gains Glorious Ability Eviscerate
Piercer- STAB+1, gains Glorious Ability Memorize
Carrier- HOLD+2, gains Glorious Ability Lift
Benefactor- -2 to all attributes but STAB, +2 to STAB, gains Glorious Ability Benefactor (exclusive to class).
Cleaver (Knife Only)- -4 to HOLD, but gain +2 to CUT. May use Glorious Abilities with HOLD.
Ladle (Spoon Only)- +3 to HOLD, no Glorious Abilities at start.
Pitchfork (Fork Only)- CUT+8, loses 1 Glorious Ability and 2 STAB
and fight through various things. It's a fairly simple system, with the needed number being within 2 points of the value at all times. It's pretty simple because it's an intentional parody of d20, which I kinda hate and want to make fun of.
